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Shit My Dad (Never) Says

Sh*t My Dad (Never) Says

Penned By Oscar Wilde
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4.85
18,250 Global Ratings
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Shit My Dad (Never) Says

Sh*t My Dad (Never) Says

Penned By Oscar Wilde
4.85 18,250 Ratings
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Editor's Note:
Let’s admit it. Most dads say a lot of sh*t. But unfortunately, what they say is usually not even worth writing down. That’s because they have about as much wit as a sack of flour.Justin Halpern’s dad is the rare exception. His dad’s sh*t is funny because it is just so stupid and ridiculous. This book is both a parody and a tribute to the book Sh*t My Dad Says. This book is a carefully selected collection of things that dads most definitely would never say, just because these sayings are actually clever, witty and smart. To that end, the wit of Oscar Wilde is indeed truly incomparable, and we have included such gems as“Nowadays people know the price of everything and the value of nothing,” or“Experience is merely the name men give to their mistakes,” or“Anyone can sympathise with the sufferings of a friend, but it requires a very fine nature to sympathise with a friend's success.”Compared to the typical sh*t that most dads would say, this book is actually pretty good reading!

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Length N/A Pages
Released November 15, 2011
Identifier (ISBN) 10388751
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Oscar Wilde
The Mind Behind the Work
Oscar Wilde

Oscar Wilde is a writer and avid reader based in the Pacific Northwest. Before pursuing writing full-time, they spent over a decade working in education. When not working on their next book, Oscar Wilde can usually be found hiking with their dog or trying out new coffee shops in their neighborhood.

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Critical Reception & Reviews

4.85
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Christopher Rodriguez
Christopher Rodriguez May 16, 2025
"A profoundly satisfying read. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. Worth every moment spent reading."
David Carter
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"Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. A true literary gem."
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Anthony Thompson
Anthony Thompson March 24, 2025
"Absolutely brilliant. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. An effortless 5 stars."
Sarah Rivera
Sarah Rivera April 13, 2025
"A decent, if standard, experience. Certain acts were fascinating, while others felt like a slight endeavor to complete. Perhaps more aligned with a different audience's tastes."
Ryan Nelson
Ryan Nelson November 06, 2025
"Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece."
George Thompson
George Thompson March 29, 2025
"Such a rich narrative. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. An effortless 5 stars."
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"Exceeded all my expectations. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. Worth every moment spent reading."
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"I thoroughly enjoyed the elegance of it. The protagonist was compelling, though some subplots felt slightly overshadowed. A wonderful companion for a quiet weekend."
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"Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. A true literary gem."
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Elizabeth Thompson May 10, 2025
"I was completely blown away. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. A true literary gem."
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"I was completely blown away. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. I am now a lifelong fan of this author."
Elizabeth Lee
Elizabeth Lee December 21, 2024
"Exceeded all my expectations. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. A true literary gem."
John Sanchez
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"Exceeded all my expectations. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. A true literary gem."
Margaret Allen
Margaret Allen November 21, 2025
"Exceeded all my expectations. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece."
David Allen
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"Masterpiece from start to finish. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. Worth every moment spent reading."
Joseph Rivera
Joseph Rivera April 05, 2024
"I thoroughly enjoyed the elegance of it. The protagonist was compelling, though some subplots felt slightly overshadowed. A very distinguished novel."
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Joseph Hill February 24, 2024
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Matthew Brown
Matthew Brown February 05, 2025
"A profoundly satisfying read. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece."
Thomas Lee
Thomas Lee May 30, 2024
"Excellent, though slightly flawed. Beautiful writing, though I craved slightly more depth in the lore. Still, undeniably engaging. A very distinguished novel."
Susan Adams
Susan Adams September 02, 2025
"I find myself somewhat conflicted. It verged on repetitive in the second act. A more concise edit would have served it well. Unlikely to reread, but a reasonable expenditure of time."
Kevin Thompson
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"Took a moment to build, but the payoff was spectacular. A brilliant concept executed with flair. Just a few pacing choices I would change. I would highly recommend this to discerning readers."
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"A highly sophisticated read. A brilliant concept executed with flair. Just a few pacing choices I would change. I would highly recommend this to discerning readers."
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Donna Roberts March 22, 2025
"A very strong entry. A brilliant concept executed with flair. Just a few pacing choices I would change. I would highly recommend this to discerning readers."
James Diaz
James Diaz July 16, 2025
"A highly sophisticated read. A brilliant concept executed with flair. Just a few pacing choices I would change. A very distinguished novel."
Brian Thomas
Brian Thomas March 30, 2024
"Masterpiece from start to finish. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. An effortless 5 stars."
Richard Harris
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"I was completely blown away. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. Worth every moment spent reading."
Daniel Anderson
Daniel Anderson October 30, 2024
"Exceeded all my expectations. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. A true literary gem."
Steven Campbell
Steven Campbell June 11, 2024
"Took a moment to build, but the payoff was spectacular. The middle had a deliberate pace, but the climax was phenomenal. A very distinguished novel."
Donald Campbell
Donald Campbell May 14, 2025
"Such a rich narrative. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece."
Susan Campbell
Susan Campbell August 16, 2025
"Masterpiece from start to finish. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. Worth every moment spent reading."
Anthony Adams
Anthony Adams November 10, 2025
"Absolutely brilliant. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre."
John Sanchez
John Sanchez May 01, 2025
"Such a rich narrative. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. I am now a lifelong fan of this author."
Michelle Turner
Michelle Turner May 20, 2025
"A very strong entry. The middle had a deliberate pace, but the climax was phenomenal. A solid 4 stars from me."
Andrew King
Andrew King September 30, 2024
"Masterpiece from start to finish. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. I am now a lifelong fan of this author."
Sandra Mitchell
Sandra Mitchell August 22, 2024
"Exceeded all my expectations. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. Worth every moment spent reading."
Eric Turner
Eric Turner January 19, 2025
"Masterpiece from start to finish. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre."
Sarah Rivera
Sarah Rivera March 03, 2024
"It was adequate. Certain acts were fascinating, while others felt like a slight endeavor to complete. Perfectly average."
Cynthia Lee
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"A highly sophisticated read. The protagonist was compelling, though some subplots felt slightly overshadowed. I would highly recommend this to discerning readers."
Sarah Sanchez
Sarah Sanchez June 03, 2024
"Such a rich narrative. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. I am now a lifelong fan of this author."
Ashley Lee
Ashley Lee May 17, 2025
"Excellent, though slightly flawed. The protagonist was compelling, though some subplots felt slightly overshadowed. A very distinguished novel."
Stephanie White
Stephanie White April 08, 2025
"Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. An effortless 5 stars."
Nicholas Lewis
Nicholas Lewis April 24, 2024
"A profoundly satisfying read. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece."
Stephanie Clark
Stephanie Clark March 29, 2024
"Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. Worth every moment spent reading."
Donna Martinez
Donna Martinez May 01, 2024
"Masterpiece from start to finish. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. An effortless 5 stars."
Nicholas Perez
Nicholas Perez April 01, 2025
"A profoundly satisfying read. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre."
Sharon White
Sharon White December 05, 2025
"I find myself somewhat conflicted. The prose was competent, yet the characters lacked the depth I usually seek. Unlikely to reread, but a reasonable expenditure of time."
James Taylor
James Taylor February 01, 2024
"Such a rich narrative. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. Worth every moment spent reading."
Barbara Allen
Barbara Allen April 05, 2024
"I was completely blown away. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece."
Margaret Sanchez
Margaret Sanchez February 20, 2024
"I was completely blown away. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. Worth every moment spent reading."
Sandra White
Sandra White February 27, 2024
"A very strong entry. Beautiful writing, though I craved slightly more depth in the lore. Still, undeniably engaging. I would highly recommend this to discerning readers."
Ryan Ramirez
Ryan Ramirez June 12, 2025
"A very strong entry. The protagonist was compelling, though some subplots felt slightly overshadowed. A wonderful companion for a quiet weekend."
Patricia Martin
Patricia Martin July 09, 2025
"Masterpiece from start to finish. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. I am now a lifelong fan of this author."
Richard Evans
Richard Evans July 02, 2025
"Masterpiece from start to finish. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece."
Lisa Thompson
Lisa Thompson March 30, 2024
"A very strong entry. It held my rapt attention, even when certain twists were telegraphed. I would highly recommend this to discerning readers."
Carol Reyes
Carol Reyes February 12, 2025
"Excellent, though slightly flawed. It held my rapt attention, even when certain twists were telegraphed. Quite impressive overall."
Matthew Moore
Matthew Moore March 07, 2024
"Took a moment to build, but the payoff was spectacular. The protagonist was compelling, though some subplots felt slightly overshadowed. A solid 4 stars from me."
Matthew Nguyen
Matthew Nguyen May 29, 2025
"Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece."
Ashley Campbell
Ashley Campbell July 28, 2024
"Took a moment to build, but the payoff was spectacular. The protagonist was compelling, though some subplots felt slightly overshadowed. A solid 4 stars from me."
Andrew King
Andrew King March 29, 2025
"A very strong entry. The middle had a deliberate pace, but the climax was phenomenal. Quite impressive overall."
Michael Hernandez
Michael Hernandez July 22, 2024
"A highly sophisticated read. Beautiful writing, though I craved slightly more depth in the lore. Still, undeniably engaging. Quite impressive overall."
George Turner
George Turner August 14, 2024
"Absolutely brilliant. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece."
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