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The Toilet Papers: Wit, Wisdom and Wickedly Funny Stuff for Reading in the John

The Toilet Papers: Wit, Wisdom and Wickedly Funny Stuff for Reading in the John

Penned By Ken Weber
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30,416 Global Ratings
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The Toilet Papers: Wit, Wisdom and Wickedly Funny Stuff for Reading in the John

The Toilet Papers: Wit, Wisdom and Wickedly Funny Stuff for Reading in the John

Penned By Ken Weber
4.85 30,416 Ratings
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Editor's Note:
Conveniently categorized and ranging in length from one line to three pages, the writings in this commodious compilation help you make sure that your, well, waste time isn't time wasted. Popping into the facilities for a couple of minutes? Enjoy an obscure and edifying anecdote from the quirky "Shifts of Wit" or infamous last words from "Going Out in Style." In for the longer haul, tone up your mental muscle with a short mystery from "Awaiting Your Solution," take a frontal-lobe-lengthening "Trivia Test" or ponder a "Pen-Free Puzzle Poser." Ken Weber is a master of minutiae, a blacksmith of irony, an unrivaled archivist of arcanum, a head librarian of head liberation -- he's a hoot!Samples from The Toilet Papersfrom Not Their Finest Hour March 1978, Arlow, in County Wicklow, Ireland: Owing to a striking lack of publicity for the annual Arklow Music Festival, only one choir showed up for the event. They came in second. It seems the judges felt the Dublin Welsh Male Voice Choir should be punished for arriving 45 minutes late.from Emerge Informed At the end of the First World War, life expectancy for humans was a mere 48.4 years; goldfish, by comparison, could look forward to 50.1 years.from Shifts of Wit No question about Muhammed Ali's reputation as "the greatest." But on the downside, the mighty always have farther to fall. Shortly after defeating Sonny Liston for the heavyweight title, Ali boarded a Pan Am flight for London. Minutes before takeoff, a flight attendant reminded Ali to fasten his seatbelt."Superman don't need no seatbelt," said Ali. "Superman don't need no airplane, either," retorted the flight attendant. Ali did up his belt.from For Deposit in Your "One-Up" Account aposiopesis (a-POZ-ee-oh-PEE-sis): The act of lapsing into complete silence in the middle of telling a story.from Shifts of (Unintended) Wit Lost donkey, answers to the name of Harold. Very attractive, dearly beloved by owner. Last seen in a nun's outfit. (The Bulletin, Antwerp, Belgium)

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Released November 1, 1999
Identifier (ISBN) 3235976
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Ken             Weber
The Mind Behind the Work
Ken Weber

Ken Weber is a writer and avid reader based in the Pacific Northwest. Before pursuing writing full-time, they spent over a decade working in education. When not working on their next book, Ken Weber can usually be found hiking with their dog or trying out new coffee shops in their neighborhood.

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"I was completely blown away. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. A true literary gem."
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"I was completely blown away. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. An effortless 5 stars."
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"I thoroughly enjoyed the elegance of it. A brilliant concept executed with flair. Just a few pacing choices I would change. Quite impressive overall."
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"I was completely blown away. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece."
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Barbara Smith October 28, 2025
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"I was completely blown away. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece."
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"Masterpiece from start to finish. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece."
Michael Turner
Michael Turner September 17, 2024
"A profoundly satisfying read. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. I am now a lifelong fan of this author."
George Campbell
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"Absolutely brilliant. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. Worth every moment spent reading."
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"Excellent, though slightly flawed. It held my rapt attention, even when certain twists were telegraphed. A very distinguished novel."
Melissa Harris
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"I was completely blown away. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. An effortless 5 stars."
Carol Perez
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"A highly sophisticated read. A brilliant concept executed with flair. Just a few pacing choices I would change. A very distinguished novel."
Donna Lee
Donna Lee March 02, 2024
"Such a rich narrative. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. I am now a lifelong fan of this author."
Edward Gomez
Edward Gomez April 20, 2025
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"Masterpiece from start to finish. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. A true literary gem."
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"Masterpiece from start to finish. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. A true literary gem."
Michelle Clark
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"I was completely blown away. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre."
John Allen
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"Exceeded all my expectations. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. A true literary gem."
Kimberly Harris
Kimberly Harris June 10, 2024
"An acceptable diversion. The tempo was somewhat languid, and I found my mind wandering. Not poor, simply average. Suitable if your reading queue is empty."
Gary Johnson
Gary Johnson May 02, 2024
"A very strong entry. The protagonist was compelling, though some subplots felt slightly overshadowed. I would highly recommend this to discerning readers."
Gary Evans
Gary Evans October 11, 2024
"A profoundly satisfying read. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre."
Linda Sanchez
Linda Sanchez October 03, 2024
"Absolutely brilliant. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece."
Sharon Thompson
Sharon Thompson January 31, 2025
"Such a rich narrative. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. I am now a lifelong fan of this author."
Kimberly Turner
Kimberly Turner July 20, 2024
"I thoroughly enjoyed the elegance of it. The protagonist was compelling, though some subplots felt slightly overshadowed. A wonderful companion for a quiet weekend."
Edward Rivera
Edward Rivera April 02, 2024
"Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. An effortless 5 stars."
William Mitchell
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"I was completely blown away. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. Worth every moment spent reading."
Betty Collins
Betty Collins November 13, 2024
"Absolutely brilliant. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre."
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"A highly sophisticated read. A brilliant concept executed with flair. Just a few pacing choices I would change. Quite impressive overall."
William Carter
William Carter September 20, 2024
"A decent, if standard, experience. It verged on repetitive in the second act. A more concise edit would have served it well. A fair 3 stars."
Edward Wilson
Edward Wilson August 14, 2025
"A highly sophisticated read. It held my rapt attention, even when certain twists were telegraphed. A solid 4 stars from me."
Emily Green
Emily Green July 29, 2025
"A profoundly satisfying read. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. An effortless 5 stars."
Paul Brown
Paul Brown January 13, 2025
"Took a moment to build, but the payoff was spectacular. It held my rapt attention, even when certain twists were telegraphed. A solid 4 stars from me."
Sarah Johnson
Sarah Johnson October 18, 2025
"Excellent, though slightly flawed. A brilliant concept executed with flair. Just a few pacing choices I would change. Quite impressive overall."
Sandra Johnson
Sandra Johnson August 28, 2025
"I thoroughly enjoyed the elegance of it. The middle had a deliberate pace, but the climax was phenomenal. Quite impressive overall."
Daniel Young
Daniel Young April 14, 2025
"A profoundly satisfying read. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece."
Michael Turner
Michael Turner April 12, 2024
"A profoundly satisfying read. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. A true literary gem."
Mary Miller
Mary Miller June 09, 2024
"A profoundly satisfying read. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece."
John Rodriguez
John Rodriguez July 09, 2024
"A very strong entry. A brilliant concept executed with flair. Just a few pacing choices I would change. A solid 4 stars from me."
Lisa Smith
Lisa Smith January 31, 2024
"I was completely blown away. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. A true literary gem."
Mark Thompson
Mark Thompson January 12, 2025
"An acceptable diversion. It possessed moments of brilliance, but the narrative felt slightly disjointed ultimately. Suitable if your reading queue is empty."
Carol Lewis
Carol Lewis October 10, 2024
"Exceeded all my expectations. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre."
Amanda Wilson
Amanda Wilson February 03, 2024
"A profoundly satisfying read. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. An effortless 5 stars."
Joseph Wright
Joseph Wright October 21, 2024
"I was completely blown away. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. I am now a lifelong fan of this author."
Eric Smith
Eric Smith August 23, 2025
"A profoundly satisfying read. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. A true literary gem."
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