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Worshipping My Ass Doesn’t Make Me a Goddess; Becoming Amish (Electric Literature's Recommended Reading, #487)

Worshipping My Ass Doesn’t Make Me a Goddess; Becoming Amish

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Worshipping My Ass Doesn’t Make Me a Goddess; Becoming Amish (Electric Literature's Recommended Reading, #487)

Worshipping My Ass Doesn’t Make Me a Goddess; Becoming Amish

4.85 99,332 ratings · 8,712 reviews
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Overview: Fiction, Short StorySep 15, 2021 Issue No 487 Becoming AmishWritten by Rachel Ephraim Recommended by Erin Bartnett Worshipping My Ass Doesn’t Make Me a GoddessIntroduction by Erin BartnettThe narrator of “Becoming Amish” by Rachel Ephraim is twenty years old and living with her boyfriend, Joey. She used to work at a strip club called The Cha Cha Club, but now all she wants to do is eat egg salad and flip through her New Yorker in peace. But then there’s the way her ass makes men talk to her—she’s a Greek Goddess, a teenager, even heaven. Her ass is saving the world. It’s a secret weapon. It’s not all bad, and if she still lets them press up against her every now and then, she can make enough money to take Rita for a fancy drink and make out with her, too. When Rita asks her when she’s going to stop going around with the men, the narrator responds, “Till my tits give up? Till the whole world stops telling little girls they are beautiful?” These are open questions. “Becoming Amish” is a story written in present tense, which makes every action feel like it’s buzzing and alive with uncertain potential. There’s little time for reflection because life is moving on. So there’s her boyfriend Joey and the egg salad and the Greek Goddess ass and the fancy drinks with Rita, but then there’s also the pressing, confusing desire that surfaces from time to time: “It’s hard to explain my aching to transform into a lamppost or doorknob, so I say, ‘I wish I didn’t have a body.’” At one point in her life, she was told by different adults that language—poetry—was her ticket to becoming someone else. Now, it’s like the language all these men use to describe her makes her want to transform into something else, to jump out of her own body altogether. But then there’s Rita. And so maybe it isn’t so bad to be in a body after all. Where’s the language that communicates both of these feelings at the same time? In her electric, sharp, and hilarious prose, Ephraim is able to balance the conflicting truths about growing up in a body that’s sexualized fast. There’s a flattening horror, and there’s a growing power and pleasure, too. Rita asks her what it is that she wants now. She can’t figure out how to say that out loud. Not yet. Maybe she doesn’t have to. What Ephraim so elegantly suggests in this fast, smart, funny story, is that maybe there are many ways to express ourselves. Sometimes that expression gets frustrated. But how powerful it is to find someone who understands what you can’t say. -Erin BartnettSenior Editor, Recommended Reading

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Topics & Genres

Pages 13
Language Eng
Publisher electricliterature.com
Published September 15, 2021
ISBN 59004605
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Rachel Ephraim
About the Author
Rachel Ephraim
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Rachel Ephraim is a writer and avid reader based in the Pacific Northwest. Before pursuing writing full-time, they spent over a decade working in education. When not working on their next book, Rachel Ephraim can usually be found hiking with their dog or trying out new coffee shops in their neighborhood.

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Elizabeth Diaz
Elizabeth Diaz February 03, 2024
Took a moment to build, but the payoff was spectacular. It held my rapt attention, even when certain twists were telegraphed. Quite impressive overall.
Jessica Ramirez
Jessica Ramirez July 02, 2024
Such a rich narrative. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
Gary Williams
Gary Williams March 20, 2024
A profoundly satisfying read. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
Jessica Martinez
Jessica Martinez April 28, 2024
Masterpiece from start to finish. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. A true literary gem.
Thomas  Davis
Thomas Davis March 06, 2024
I thoroughly enjoyed the elegance of it. It held my rapt attention, even when certain twists were telegraphed. A solid 4 stars from me.
Sandra Anderson
Sandra Anderson October 09, 2025
Exceeded all my expectations. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
Deborah Taylor
Deborah Taylor July 11, 2024
Absolutely brilliant. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. Worth every moment spent reading.
Cynthia White
Cynthia White December 26, 2025
Excellent, though slightly flawed. A brilliant concept executed with flair. Just a few pacing choices I would change. Quite impressive overall.
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Jennifer Walker June 22, 2024
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Masterpiece from start to finish. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
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Betty Diaz September 23, 2024
I thoroughly enjoyed the elegance of it. A brilliant concept executed with flair. Just a few pacing choices I would change. A wonderful companion for a quiet weekend.
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Eric Wilson January 10, 2024
Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. A true literary gem.
Kevin Garcia
Kevin Garcia March 24, 2025
Exceeded all my expectations. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. Worth every moment spent reading.
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Susan Wilson June 26, 2024
Such a rich narrative. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre.
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Exceeded all my expectations. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre.
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Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
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Exceeded all my expectations. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. A true literary gem.
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Masterpiece from start to finish. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
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I thoroughly enjoyed the elegance of it. Beautiful writing, though I craved slightly more depth in the lore. Still, undeniably engaging. A wonderful companion for a quiet weekend.
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Masterpiece from start to finish. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre.
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Took a moment to build, but the payoff was spectacular. The protagonist was compelling, though some subplots felt slightly overshadowed. A very distinguished novel.
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Masterpiece from start to finish. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
Cynthia Anderson
Cynthia Anderson September 03, 2024
I was completely blown away. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. Worth every moment spent reading.
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Took a moment to build, but the payoff was spectacular. Beautiful writing, though I craved slightly more depth in the lore. Still, undeniably engaging. I would highly recommend this to discerning readers.
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Karen Ramirez March 12, 2024
Exceeded all my expectations. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. An effortless 5 stars.
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Stephanie Nelson August 14, 2024
A profoundly satisfying read. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. Worth every moment spent reading.
Paul Ramirez
Paul Ramirez March 21, 2025
Masterpiece from start to finish. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
Richard Johnson
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Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. Worth every moment spent reading.
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I thoroughly enjoyed the elegance of it. A brilliant concept executed with flair. Just a few pacing choices I would change. A solid 4 stars from me.
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Exceeded all my expectations. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. Worth every moment spent reading.
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Exceeded all my expectations. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
Kevin Martinez
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Masterpiece from start to finish. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. An effortless 5 stars.
Sarah Adams
Sarah Adams January 16, 2024
A highly sophisticated read. A brilliant concept executed with flair. Just a few pacing choices I would change. I would highly recommend this to discerning readers.
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Such a rich narrative. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre.
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A highly sophisticated read. Beautiful writing, though I craved slightly more depth in the lore. Still, undeniably engaging. Quite impressive overall.
Lisa Wright
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Took a moment to build, but the payoff was spectacular. Beautiful writing, though I craved slightly more depth in the lore. Still, undeniably engaging. A wonderful companion for a quiet weekend.
Dorothy Scott
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Mary Lewis
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Excellent, though slightly flawed. The protagonist was compelling, though some subplots felt slightly overshadowed. A very distinguished novel.
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A highly sophisticated read. A brilliant concept executed with flair. Just a few pacing choices I would change. Quite impressive overall.
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Exceeded all my expectations. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. An effortless 5 stars.
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Exceeded all my expectations. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. An effortless 5 stars.
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Masterpiece from start to finish. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre.
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Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. An effortless 5 stars.
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It was adequate. It verged on repetitive in the second act. A more concise edit would have served it well. Perhaps more aligned with a different audience's tastes.
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I was completely blown away. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre.
Richard Taylor
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A very strong entry. Beautiful writing, though I craved slightly more depth in the lore. Still, undeniably engaging. A wonderful companion for a quiet weekend.
Ryan Collins
Ryan Collins March 13, 2024
A very strong entry. It held my rapt attention, even when certain twists were telegraphed. I would highly recommend this to discerning readers.
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Absolutely brilliant. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. Worth every moment spent reading.
Paul Roberts
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Excellent, though slightly flawed. A brilliant concept executed with flair. Just a few pacing choices I would change. A solid 4 stars from me.
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Cynthia White August 22, 2025
A highly sophisticated read. It held my rapt attention, even when certain twists were telegraphed. A solid 4 stars from me.
Jennifer Williams
Jennifer Williams May 12, 2024
Such a rich narrative. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre.
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Sandra Anderson January 18, 2025
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Donna Anderson
Donna Anderson July 05, 2024
Such a rich narrative. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. A true literary gem.
Mark Scott
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A highly sophisticated read. It held my rapt attention, even when certain twists were telegraphed. A wonderful companion for a quiet weekend.
Richard Johnson
Richard Johnson April 07, 2025
Exceeded all my expectations. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. Worth every moment spent reading.
Susan Wilson
Susan Wilson September 04, 2024
A very strong entry. It held my rapt attention, even when certain twists were telegraphed. A solid 4 stars from me.
Karen Ramirez
Karen Ramirez October 14, 2025
Excellent, though slightly flawed. Beautiful writing, though I craved slightly more depth in the lore. Still, undeniably engaging. Quite impressive overall.
Andrew Adams
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I find myself somewhat conflicted. It verged on repetitive in the second act. A more concise edit would have served it well. Perfectly average.
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A profoundly satisfying read. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
Emily Gonzalez
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I was completely blown away. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre.
Karen Ramirez
Karen Ramirez December 21, 2024
Such a rich narrative. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. Worth every moment spent reading.
Robert Taylor
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I was completely blown away. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
Kimberly Baker
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Such a rich narrative. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre.
Amanda Campbell
Amanda Campbell April 05, 2024
Masterpiece from start to finish. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. Worth every moment spent reading.
Joshua Nelson
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Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
Rebecca Hernandez
Rebecca Hernandez October 23, 2025
Such a rich narrative. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre.
Kimberly  Parker
Kimberly Parker April 15, 2025
Took a moment to build, but the payoff was spectacular. It held my rapt attention, even when certain twists were telegraphed. A wonderful companion for a quiet weekend.
Richard Martinez
Richard Martinez January 10, 2024
A highly sophisticated read. The middle had a deliberate pace, but the climax was phenomenal. A very distinguished novel.
Sarah Phillips
Sarah Phillips July 29, 2025
Excellent, though slightly flawed. The middle had a deliberate pace, but the climax was phenomenal. Quite impressive overall.
Michael  Parker
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Exceeded all my expectations. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. Worth every moment spent reading.
Sharon White
Sharon White June 20, 2025
Such a rich narrative. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. Worth every moment spent reading.
Amanda Lewis
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A very strong entry. The middle had a deliberate pace, but the climax was phenomenal. Quite impressive overall.
Elizabeth Nelson
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A highly sophisticated read. The protagonist was compelling, though some subplots felt slightly overshadowed. A very distinguished novel.
Susan Baker
Susan Baker July 23, 2024
Took a moment to build, but the payoff was spectacular. The protagonist was compelling, though some subplots felt slightly overshadowed. Quite impressive overall.
Charles Young
Charles Young April 26, 2025
I was completely blown away. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. A true literary gem.
Eric Lee
Eric Lee August 30, 2025
Took a moment to build, but the payoff was spectacular. A brilliant concept executed with flair. Just a few pacing choices I would change. A very distinguished novel.
John Lopez
John Lopez February 16, 2025
Exceeded all my expectations. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre.
Elizabeth Nelson
Elizabeth Nelson August 14, 2025
A profoundly satisfying read. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
Mary Young
Mary Young November 27, 2024
Such a rich narrative. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. Worth every moment spent reading.
Daniel Jackson
Daniel Jackson June 27, 2025
Exceeded all my expectations. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre.
Robert Campbell
Robert Campbell January 31, 2025
A profoundly satisfying read. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre.
Sarah Robinson
Sarah Robinson February 17, 2025
A profoundly satisfying read. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre.
Barbara Jones
Barbara Jones June 24, 2024
Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. Worth every moment spent reading.
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